Monday, February 10, 2014

Bridging the Gap

Sorry I've been gone so long! Bronchitis is such a real thing..

But basically this past year I’ve met an entirely new group of amazing people. People who I want to spend time with. But what I’m struggling with lately is trying to bridge the gap between the different groups of friends. What happens when some of my friends want me to go out to a party and my other friends just want to stay in and have a movie night. Both sound pretty appealing right? But I end up going to the party instead. Sure, I have a great time, but I’m sure I would have had a great time at home on my couch as well. And while I was out that night, I just had this weird feeling and I realized that it was guilt. I felt guilty for choosing one group over the other. And I realized what held me back from choosing to stay in. It was this sense of loyalty. For no other reason than that I’ve been friends with one group longer. I felt pressured to keep them happy.

In a perfect world, these two groups would ideally mesh and all become one big BFF family, right?

But on the other hand, you like having them separate. So what do you do? Well the natural peace-keeper in me says split your time. But what if one group challenges you to be a better version of you? What if the quality of friendship isn’t as great within one group but you still love them all the same?

It’s tough. Believe me, I know.

So the next time you’re torn, here’s my advice.

Do what you’re going to enjoy. Do what you think is the best choice. Don’t second guess yourself. Don’t try to rationalize your decision (to yourself or to anyone else).
It’s your life. Live it your way.

I’ve spent a very long time warring with myself over this and finally I realized…it doesn’t matter! Your decision on one weekend will (most likely) NOT change the course of your entire life. So do what you want. Have a drink. Watch a movie. Maybe do both together. But do what makes you happy.

And most of all: Don’t do anything just because you feel like you owe someone.


{[In case this makes no sense to my non-Sex and the City addicts, Samantha was with her boyfriend Smith for a couple of years and finally realized that they were drifting apart. Not by any fault of their own, but because sometimes that just happens. But she tried to rationalize to herself that because Smith had stayed with her through Chemo, she should stay with him through anything.


At the end of the day, the only person you owe anything to is yourself. You owe it to yourself to be the best and happiest version of you and you do this by putting yourself first. You rock. Now go buy yourself something nice. And work it.

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